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    @gautreaux Great, how does $5 mil in stock options sound?
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      This is your monthly reminder that if you make less than $250,000 a year and vote Republican you are a masochist by DSM-IV criteria.
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        @donadam you might want to fix your broken ADN auto-cross-posting from Tumblr and Twitter. Thanks.
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          You can’t spell pointless without IPO.
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            Wish @scottsimpson had stayed at Apple. They need a lot more body shame in upper management.
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              I think Craig and Eddy took the “no buttons” mantra of iOS 7 too far by applying it to their shirts. Chest Hair Mavericks.
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                We would have given the NSA access to the firehose, but they ran out of user tokens. Sorry guys, everyone has to follow the developer rules of the road.
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                  Who knew telling the NSA to go fuck themselves would be good for our business?
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                    Does anyone else get the impression that McCain and Levin tried to bid for lunch with Cook, lost, and this is their backup plan?
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                      Auric Goldfinger but for WWDC tickets.
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                        Lock screen ads are what makes a Facebook House into a Facebook Home.
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                          I want Blogger’s mobile javascripty interface to die in a fire that it inadvertently navigated to because it didn’t swipe with perfect verticality.
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                            Today we are unveiling our new javascript Tweet shortener: function(tweet) { return “I am very important.” }
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                              We are NOT sunsetting Tweetdeck. We are just renaming it to Tweetdick. @dickc is kind of an egomaniac.
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                                Well played ADN. Start by charging a bunch of suckers and then add free accounts. Well two can play that game! From now on all new Twitter accounts are $36.
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                                  “Sushi progresses fun-roll by fun-roll.” - Max Plankje
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                                    “From each according to his ability, to each according to his popularity.” - ADN Developer Incentive Program
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                                      We aren’t running unpatched servers, we’re “A/B testing security flaws.”
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                                        @themick79i: Nooooo @twitterphotos.app.net/2719882/1” That’s what we get for trying to host on a free heroku dyno with Rubygems disabled.
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                                          Guys! Round Videos, 3.1415926536 seconds duration. Boom!